Dealing and living with it
“I am every woman, it’s all in me”. So goes Whitney Houston’s song. Sadly, at some point though, I could not fully relate to that. Well, at least naturally (biologically). My ultrasound result clearly reads: UTERUS- Surgically Absent. Oouuch! Would anybody care to explain that?
Alright, I am woman less the uterus! That part of a woman’s reproductive system where conceived babies stay temporarily for nine months before they make their official entry to the world. It is the perfect place for babies to grow as their mothers nurture them to become useful individuals to our society. It is through this special and distinct woman body part that a woman performs a significant role that I could no longer function. A role, women who underwent hysterectomy are rendered useless. Hysterectomy stripped of that role from me seven years back. My uterus was removed at an early age of twenty nine (29) due to multiple uterine myoma. My doctors said they will try to keep the uterus for me to have kids in the future but only told me with regret after the operation that it was no longer possible. I had Total Abdominal Hysterectomy.
In a culture where motherhood is seen as the ultimate measure of being a woman, being unable to bear a child goes more than just being partially disabled physically. It almost carries a social stigma. However, with the emergence of the different roles of women in our society today, the woman’s essence is no longer defined by her biological experience of being a mother. Motherhood has extended to more than just bearing and giving birth to a child. It is now measured by the capacity of woman to nurture.
It has been seven years since I underwent the procedure. I tell you, these years have been one of the most fruitful years of my being a woman. If Sushmita Sen has opted to adopt a child to fulfill her motherly instincts, I have fulfilled my motherly instincts in more ways than one. The path of hysterectomy is surely not smooth. However, I assure you that the journey is pleasurable as long as you are willing to accept and live it. I am offering a few tips on dealing with hysterectomy based on my very own experience.
1. Ask your doctor all you want to ask. This will provide you enough information to combat false notions about the procedure and prevents you from falling into the wrong concepts of other people.
2. Read and research all you want. This will open your mind and expand your learning based on your doctor’s explanation. It will also give you more ideas of more questions to ask and be able to relate to other women who have undergone the same procedure.
3. Accept and be open about it. A counselor once told me that the more you are able to talk openly about a certain hurt in the past, the more you’re freed of the bondage of pain. Talk a friend, priest or a counselor. Be careful also in choosing the person/s that you have decided to share your feelings and ideas with. Not all are mature enough to understand your situation. What is important is you don’t feel different but rather feel accepted and loved.
4. Involve yourself in something that makes you happy. Discover your passion and pursue it. If it’s doing a certain craft, then try to develop it. If getting a pet makes you happy and fulfill your nurturing instincts, then get one. If involving in social work, community organization and pursuing causes makes you a better person, then by all means do it. The more you involve yourself with and for others; you will realize how much you are blessed.
5. Enjoy life! There is more to life than just losing your uterus. Move on and enjoy life to the fullest. Life is too short to be spent on self pity, grudges and all the pains in the world. After all, life is how we make it. In the greater scheme of things, what really matters most is being able to fulfill your purpose. The path may be difficult but the journey depends on how you take it.
